Communication difficulties in romantic relationships are so common that no matter how great you and your sweetie get along, you’re bound to run into some non-optimum communication somewhere along the line. The good news is, with the right approach, these challenges usually aren’t too challenging to solve.
Bridge the gender divide!
Males and females approach romantic relationships in distinctly different ways. Without an open mind, it’s much too easy to write the opposite gender off as “illogical” or perhaps start thinking of their differences as childish or petty. The actual reality is neither gender is perfectly logical. Taking some time to learn more about exactly the way the opposite gender looks at love matters can easily help you avoid a lot of problems in romances.
Don’t forget that you’re one half of the communication problem. When you’ve been together for a while, you may well start to think you know very well what your partner is going to say. Unless you have ESP, though, you’ll get a whole lot farther by actually hearing your partner out. When your sweetie informs you about something, restate what they said to help to make sure you understood correctly and let them know you heard.
Release the necessity for blame!
When one of you has a problem, the romantic relationship has a problem and it’s in both your best interests to figure it out peacefully.
Instead of going around in circles trying to decide whose fault it is, focus on precisely how you’re going to solve it. Likewise, try to avoid blaming your mate for your overall mood. Specific issues like “When you flirt with other people, I feel rejected.” are fine, but sweeping statements like “You cause me to feel miserable.” Or “you stress me out.” are taking it way too far.
Stick to the facts!
When trying to talk over problems in relationships, don’t bring up any thing you can’t prove. Instead, stick to what can’t be argued like your own feelings and what your significant other already agrees they do. For example, saying “You disrespected me while in front of my friends” can be argued because standards of respect differ. Alternatively, saying “I was embarrassed when you told Dave that you do not think I should ask for a raise.” is not only unarguable, but also gets your point across more clearly.
Be frank, but kind!
You are not doing anyone any favors if you take a “put up and shut up” attitude to troubles in romantic relationships. All you end up doing is allowing wounds to fester and they can eventually achieve the point where they’ll never heal at all. Instead, speak your mind when you have a problem, but do so with gentleness, kindness, and respect. Remember, your partner probably isn’t trying to hurt or annoy you and may well be pretty upset to hear you’re unhappy.
Always be the friend, not a coach!
Chances are, your partner isn’t together with you because they’re hoping you can correct all their bad habits and personality flaws. You’re not their parent, teacher, coach, or boss. You’re their friend and lover.
You may think you’re giving constructive criticism, but your partner might think your love or respect for them has diminished due to this one little flaw they have. As opposed to criticizing, encourage improvement by giving your companion some positive feedback when they do something you truly like.
There, that doesn’t sound too hard, does it? These techniques may be simple, but they truly do work to solve communication difficulties in romances. Give them a try.
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